Ever find yourself going off the hook about something you later realize you really don’t give a crap about? What is it about hot button issues that can make us go from 0 to 60 in a millisecond? In retrospect I realize that spontaneous angry rants are really just outward expressions of stuck inner frustrations. The question I am looking to answer is…how do frustrations get stuck in the 1st place and how do we un-stick them??
Personally, if I can share my frustration for a few minutes I generally shed them quickly…. (Note: this is not always a good thing). I used to believe honesty itself had merit and lead to the truth which resolved frustration…..until I realized that I was wrong a lot …and that my venting resulted in more frustration…so not a good solution.
If I can’t share then I go quiet and internalize (push down) frustrations. Everyone can see this and knows something is wrong…Quiet is not one of my attributes. This starts the sticking process… so to keep from going to CrazyVille I look for a healthy outlet… What is that, where is that, and how can I buy one?
In Elementary school I had a nun we called Sister Mary Elephant. She always recommended isolation and contemplation when we had to reflect on our sins…. That’s nun speak for penitentiary style solitary confinement. But I wonder…. is being alone with ones thoughts a good way to get unstuck?
Alone Time ………………………..
Driving in the car: Guys think if nobody is in the car with them… they are alone.. They pick, pluck, scratch, adjust, emit noxious fumes and scream profanities at the radio, which is just the short list … What’s crazy is I witness others doing all this stuff all the time in traffic….. so I know what they are doing.. Every once in a while I check to make sure I have not Butt dialed someone by mistake and they are witness to my crazy vent… I never seem to resolve issue in the car and frustrations while driving could lead to road rage… so let’s so no..
Going for a Run: When I am mad I run hard, and fast and get lost…it hurts after a while…and I look a little crazy running full throttle screaming profanities…. When I was 10 I was so mad I decided to run away from home. I wasn’t too smart as a kid about running away … because I thought you were supposed to actually “Run” away. When I dropped from exhaustion it was very late, I was very far from home and it was very dark out. I phoned home, got my big brother on the phone and told him I was lost. “OK knucklehead…find yourself a cab and I’ll pay them when they get here”. I was too tired to be frustrated so it partly worked but is not a sustainable option. This is out too….
On the Throne……………. Nope! Legs go to sleep, feet get numb and besides sitting on the toilet thinking you are wise is like sitting at the cool table in a mental hospital. Out!
Getting to your place……….. Growing up in the city I spent a lot of time walking the streets, watching people. When I needed to work things through I’d sit in Harvard Square with a cup of coffee and watch as the world passed me by. The noise, the crowds and the vibe of a college town brought me peace of mind. This was my sanctuary, my back to basics….when I did not have a care in the world. This is my place to un-stick my frustrations..
So the answer I guess is…we are not all the same…we process issues differently and in different ways. When you find yourself going sideways like a misdirected Roman candle… Retreat to that place of yours and Rest, Reflect and Renew…Oh if you go to Harvard Sq to get un-stuck stop at Mr. Bartley’s Burger Cottage 1246 Mass Ave Cambridge … get the TAXACHU$ETT$ Burger topped with Boston Baked Beans, sriracha, bacon and a fried egg $13.25 … at least if you are going to be frustrated …you might as well make a stink… that’s what the beans are for…. Enjoy!