words1I never know where some of the words I use come from.

For instance, At work this morning I got in a heated conversation about a work process that bothers the hell out of me and before I knew it…..out came  “if there is one thing that gets my balls in an uproar it is” blah blah blah…

The correct form of this idiom is, “Don’t get your balls in and uproar” which people use when trying to calm someone down a bit… It means don’t get so excited, be calm or cool it….   The visual always makes me laugh …. Which I think helps to cool tense situations…I don’t know where I heard the idiom … but I use it unconsciously, surprising myself sometimes, which I think promotes me to laugh.

words-at-workSoon after my rant a woman co-worker from a few offices over called me on the phone to say she’d heard what I just said …. I paused for a second …….and before I could apologize she belted out a big laugh and said: Gets my balls in an uproar that’s a “Classic” I loved what you said, you have a real talent for words!…I’m still laughing and I’ll be using that one as soon as I get a chance…

I thought to myself…bullet dodged…  Ok sorry about that, I said…  I think the coffee has me a little uptight this morning…   She replied.. “Well don’t get your balls in an uproar over it”… See its perfectly to the point..  I love it!  Talk to ya later…  I smiled to myself and replied …have a great one… and then I thought to myself I’m so glad she didn’t get her knickers is a twist over that one…..but knew enough to let well enough alone

malaphorI admit that maybe using slang idioms in the workplace is not the best idea…but I don’t believe we think about them before they slip…God only knows where they come from… but to be sure they are all point in the direction of our lower abdominal region……Don’t get your (panties, knickers, undies) in a (twist, bunch, knot), Pull up your big (boy, girl) pants….and sometimes idioms get combined unintentionally ways with another figure of speech producing an nonsensical result, referred to as a malaphor.  My 96 year old mother Mary is the queen of the malaphor…  Here are a few of her beauties.. fit to print

“Don’t go knocking on a broken door”…. (I have no clue what the hell this means.. but if I had to guess I’d say it means if its broken, leave it the hell alone) …..

“If you are gonna play with fire, your gonna burn your bridges” (meaning: you got what you deserve)

“Donny, you are getting really bald now, maybe you should try some of that “Viagra” stuff to cover the bald spots”  (I assume she meant Rogaine for my head here …any other hairy region is just too disturbing to consider)

I love the colors and images that words paint… nicknames, idioms and colloquial phrases make me laugh … they never get my balls in an uproar…

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