I come across the most bizarre magazine articles while waiting for an oil change at Jiffy Lube. I stumbled upon one in an old edition of the American Journal of Epidemiology “The risk factors for non-shavers vs shavers”. It started by saying “We did find an association between low frequency of sexual intercourse and infrequent shaving”. Thinking that this might be important to know I read on….I discovered that one fifth of men who shaved less frequently than daily shavers were shorter, less likely to be married, had a lower frequency of orgasm, more likely to smoke, to have angina, and to work in manual occupations than other men. What??? I sudden felt the urge to lather up. I mean …knowing this would motivate a guy to go hairless….shave his beard, head, ears, nose and his Netherland Man-Teeny region. Being a baldy seems like a benefit after this piece of info…cancel my hair club for men membership please!!
I hope all you high school guidance counselors are reading this crap…. Think about how critical this gold mine of information is guys!!! If you shaved more as a pubescent teen you’d be taller, have a better job, get married to someone who statically guaranteed orgasms, save money on cigarettes and heart ache…. OMG… makes you think differently about those Brazilians’ the ladies get doesn’t it? Maybe our wives know something we don’t? but ouch-eeeowwwee!
Coincidentally, I’d been thinking about shaving a lot lately because I have been running a shave cream use test for a high school buddy of mine. His company is developing a lubricated cream shaving product called ShaveUp…and he needed an opinion from a daily shaver. I use Gel shaving cream which allows me to make a Santa Claus foam beard with little effort. Cream for the most part isn’t going to lather up a beard so it more of an adult style of shaving versus a home alone event. I must admit i started out with a bias…. thinking that cream was a bit pretentious …. dabbing dollops of cream from a jar looked like someone applying makeup and naturally makes you raise your pinky up during its application.. but I digress …
Shave Result: Not only did it produce a smooth shave it left my face moisturized which during the winter dry skin season is a plus. My expectations were already set not to expect the foamy lather I enjoy with the gel shave cream I use daily, so I was looking for a trade-off and a moisturized feeling after shaving did it… but I wanted more fun also like the Santa beard.
I went looking for a shave brush to lather things up a bit. I use my daughter Izzy’s make up brush to see if it lathered better and it did…she probably won’t use that brush ever again….but, I can honestly say that ShaveUp worked well both with and without a brush and I would consider using this product as part of my daily regime, especially as part of my travel items as carrying a can has always been a pain.
So what does cream shaving have to do with Sex and Heart Failure you ask yourself???
Here’s the connection for me…..the AJE study states men who shave live longer, get taller, have sexy wives and great jobs…. and the article has all the facts and figures to prove their point…which is way too complicated for this guy…. The simple answer is this:
A clean shaving man is a handsome man…A handsome man’s face creates a happy heart,
A happy heart attracts a lover and a lover attracts a happy wife and a happy wife makes a happy life…
If after all the cream shaving and flirting ….she still has any energy left ….you’ll be glad that your heart should be strong enough to survive the great sex you’ll be having… Shave on brothers….
I need to come by Jiffy Lube more often….maybe that’s how they got their name…Hmmm??