Through The Looking Glass

Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

Long ago, I read about a neurological syndrome called “Alice in Wonderland Syndrome (AIWS)” where a person experiences change in perception. It’s the feeling that things are too big or too small in respect to reality. This past weekend I attended my 50th High School reunion and I believe I spent the whole night in a state of the Alice In Wonderland Syndrome.

It’s now been 48 hours since my 50th High School reunion. I can honestly say I haven’t yet come down from the high of that evening. The buzz of meeting, greeting and talking with old friend has me feeling rejuvenated in so many ways. I can’t believe I spent the days prior struggling with anxiety ….I don’t know why I do this to myself. You’d think at my age I’d be more in tune with who I am and cut myself a break.

Before entering the VFW hall I reminded myself that “You are just a kid from Cambridge” calm down, it will be fine… nobody expects anything more. Then, as I enter the hall I felt as if i’d stepped through Alice’s rabbit hole and into a wonderland, altered from my expectation of reality.

Hugging a friend is the most beautiful form of communication as it reminds you how special they are.

As my eyes scanned the room for friendly faces and my mind raced to find words that might break my fall down the rabbit hole, I began to feel the physical embrace of my classmates. Consistent with the effects of AIWS, I felt each hug deeper, warmer and more loving than my reality could ever imagined. I found myself drinking up second and third rounds of hugs throughout the evening as if I’d been dehydrated.

There is magic in a Cambridge embrace….it tops any fist bump, high five, peck on the cheek by measure that is off the scale… To know that feeling, imagine you jump from a three story house, ablaze with flames into the arms of a friend. They catch you safely and securely ….then without speaking you hear these words in your mind.. “It’s ok I got you, your safe with me now.” That’s that’s what is special about being a Cantab.

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”

Most people I expect would imagine a 50th high school reunion to be a rehashing of the past.
However, my nights journey was not down memory lane with stories from back in the day.
To the contrary, I had a seat in a time machine dialed 50 years into the future that enabled me to witness the life journey’s of some of the most remarkable humans I’d ever had the pleasure to associated with.

We were not a group of 624 graduating seniors that came mostly from wealthy families. Many of our families never owned a car or went on elaborate family vacations growing up. We learned to make due with what we had and little did we know then that making do was more than good enough. I said it then, and I say it now… we are still a special class.

One classmate …told me that no matter what happens in the future ….if times get tough… our class grew up knowing how to survive regardless of the circumstances… as and example she said…and I quote:

“I still know how to cut the head off a chicken and pluck the feathers to make a great dinner
…that’s something our kids just won’t do.”

She was in my homeroom the Fabulous F Troop bigger than life…I’ve loved her determination and spirit and every word of just about anything she has ever said… I’m still laughing today…

My purpose in writing today is take my first step towards seeing if i can return to a stable state of reality. I’m looking to see if recovery is possible from the Alice in Wonderland Syndrome inflicted by our 50th. Our reunion has my head spinning with your shared stories which occupy all my waking hours… it can be both glorious and maddening. ….I’ll leave you for now with one final quote from Alice in Wonderland….

“Not all who wander are lost.” “Every adventure requires a first step.” “I am not crazy; my reality is just different from yours.” “Only a few find the way, some don’t recognize it when they do – some… don’t ever want to.”

We shall see… Thanks for sharing your hugs and your stories.. It’s true