Dear my personal Dear Abby,


In the morning I like to review the Dear Abby section of my local newspaper. I prefer Dear Abby to the endless home town articles complaining about dog poop, mask wearing, politics and the environment. I suppose it’s because Dear Abby offers solutions to the day to day issues that plague our complicated lives. For those of you that do not know, the modern day Dear Abby is actually the daughter of the original Dear Abby Jeanne Phillips (also the niece of author Ann Landers). She seems to have a handle on most things and is honest enough to refer the more difficult readers over to the professionals which is so important for complex issues.

What you might be surprised to learn however, is that I have my own personal Dear Abby at home who loves to offer advice on any and all topics both solicited or otherwise. Having my own in house advisor has presented a paradox for me. While I accept off-hand most advice from the newspaper Dear Abby, I tend to question the advice my personal Dear Abby offers as if I were Denny Crane from Boston Legal. My dilemma is understanding why despite her sound reasoning which on its face seems based on acceptable premises which then leads my Dear Abby to conclusions that seem to me unacceptable, or self-contradictory?


Let me 1st start by saying that my Dear Abby is one if not the most intelligent woman I ever have met. Her mind is among a long list of character traits that drew my attraction to her. She is an analytical marvel when it comes to numbers and astounds me with her talent to write mathematical equations (if that, them this, except when, only if) that can make an excel spreadsheet smoke. So you may be thinking, if she is an analytical servant why would you ever feel the need to question her advice? Why not accept and move on or turn the page so to speak?

I think that in general men don’t tend to always trust their wives advice because they perceive them to be based on emotions rather than the facts. Generally, when women bring emotions to men we tend to shut down because there is so much information to process it becomes too much to deal with. Men listen to what their wives say and then offer a solution only to be met with her now being more upset with him than before.

BUT…That’s not my situation

As I said previously, my Dear Abby is the analytical one…I and the emotional one. I’m the one with the emotional grandiose ideas. Here are some examples that might explain:

Dear my personal Dear Abby, I’m thinking about moving to South Carolina.. It’s too freakin cold up here in the winter time. I need to get outside more or else I’ll die. Husband in Hibernation

Dear Husband in Hibernation, I believe you ask this question every winter and every summer after a few days of heat you repeat how you hate the heat, love wearing sweatshirts (that say Just a kid from Cambridge), love the changing seasons and New England. Please see my advice column from the past 20 years.


Dear my personal Dear Abby, I’m want to remodel the kitchen … all I need is to get a dumpster and start ripping out the cabinets and counter tops and we can get this thing started. Husband needs a new kitchen Now

Dear Husband needs a new kitchen Now… Hold your horses there Chip! Before you start swinging hammers… Let’s start with a plan, a budget and discussion about what we want vs what we need. It may also be good to decide where you are going to cook while you are demo’ing the place and a timeline for it to be complete.

See my dilemma? She is just too practical / analytical for me which automatically makes me question her logic. Why can’t she match my passion?? I think maybe I’ll send my questions to the real Dear Abby …I bet she would understand and empathize enough give me the best advice (which is the advice I want)…

Truth be told….In my heart I know she’ll listen and understand and her advice would most likely be honest enough to refer over to the professionals.

One thought on “Dear my personal Dear Abby,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s